Back from the doctor’s

I have every reason to be un-happy today, and I just can’t help but keep a smile on my face. For some reason, I’m exceedingly happy with the world.

Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, oh no no…
Cause I know I don’t understand
Just how your love can do it no one else can…

Last night there were lots of heartaches and tears as I dealt, face-to-face, with my feelings for The Boy. And lemme tell you, those Feelings all have the most confused look on their faces. It’s hard to care enough for someone else to say well, if they need to take some time to themselves, then that’s what I need to give them. I mean, usually one thinks that he or she cares so much for another person that he or she just needs to be with this other person all the time. But I actually am caring more for another person’s feelings than for my own. I guess because I know, deep down, that the only way to take care of myself is to protect myself from people who just aren’t sure of what they want/need. So maybe I’m not being completely altruistic here…yes, that sounds better, there is still a hint of selfishness deep down in that corazon de mi. (You know, I think I’ll start editing these in Word or something like that first, so that I can actually put accent marks in the right places…as a Spanish major, I’m highly offended by incorrect spellings such as corazon without the accent over the o. But alas, there is nothing I can do about it now.)

Uh-oh, song change:
Beat it!
Beat it!
No one wants to be defeated!

So, I just came back from the doctor’s office today where I had a pretty good report. I mean, aside from the fact that since yesterday I’ve gained another 5lbs — and I was really hoping I’d lose that other 5lbs — my blood pressure is looking good (117/64) and this is having been without the hypertension medication for about a week. My height is looking good as well, I’m currently 5′ 6 7/8″.

Whoops, song change:
One and one and one is three,
got to be good lookin
cause you’re so hard to see!
Come together,
Right now,
Over me!

So now, I’m just waiting for the lab results to come back to find out whether we will increase the current medication I’m on or, in an effort to save my kidneys from the wear and tear of protein loss, switch to another medication, the dreaded Cytoxan. This medication, cytoxan, has been hanging over my head as a last resort for the past couple of years, basically because cytoxan is known to cause sterility, and as my BIGGEST wish in life is to immortalize myself in human beings by having children of my own, it is NOT fun to think that I could do another IV treatment which may cause sterility. There is a solution: they could put my on some sort of something to basically cause me to go through an early, and temporary, menopause, to protect my little eggies during the treatment time. Sounds like an okay idea. I mean, it’s either that or…well, I don’t want to think of the alternatives at the moment. I’m too chipper for that! 🙂

Song change yet again:
And now I’ve found
A partner
No one can be
Happier than I am
And now I’ve found
A new friend
No one can be
Happier than me…

Well, I’m supposed to meet a bud for lunch pretty soon up at Lenoir, and then who knows what’s going to happen this afternoon. I mean, The Boy said that he would call after work, but I’m not going to hold my breath for it — I’m tired of being disappointed by stuff like this. I’ve decided that neither sex is particularly stupid, confusing, or hard to understand, but that both males and females are mutually unintelligible. I come to this conclusion by noting that all of my straight female friends end up saying something like “Men are stupid! That’s it, one more whatever-it-is and I’m going to become a lesbian! I swear it!” While many of my lesbian female friends are fed up with whichever The Girl it might be at the time and threaten to become straight and giving up dealing with women all together. Likewise, straight and gay males have complained to me about the general sex of their significant others…so I’m just convinced that all people are crazy, and that as long as the other person remains an other person of significance, the person interested in them will invariably say “Argh, so-and-so is so frustrating, just like every other *enter so-and-so’s gender group here*”.

Does that make sense?
I’m not sure it does. It made sense in my head, but when I wrote it out, it got kind of convoluted.


About alburnet

New mom, new natural, and..for the last year...still a new teacher!

Posted on June 22, 2005, in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I understand neither male nor female. And for some reason I have guy friends who get slightly antsy when I say “Don’t ask me, I don’t understand girls any more than you do.”

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