On my 21st birthday, a reflection…
And so it is…
I have turned 21. As it is my custom on a new birthday, I reflect upon the past year or so.
My 18th birthday was marked by my first year at UNC, which was wonderful. It was also marked by the deaths of my near life-long companion Mr. Belvedere (my dog) and my wonderful grandmother Ora Davis, as well as my summer study abroad experience in London.
My 19th birthday was marked by the development of my sickness, and me learning how to deal with it. I got to live in Parker with a person who would become on of my best friends, Krissy, as well as with qbrain007. Qbrain was there to take care of me through all of the ups and downs and help me figure the whole thing out. I will love him forever for the way he sat with me in the Emergency room until my mom got there, for the way he carried me to the bathroom when I couldn’t carry myself, and for the way he was content to let me lay there and run his fingers through my hair when I didn’t feel like I could move. I also landed my job at the Planetarium, working summer camps, and found a new family – which has taken care of me and supported me through the good times and bad.
My 20th year was marked by Qbrain moving to Florida, a very sad time for me – but he had to go to school right? I mean, he says (and I believe him, now) that he did it so that our relationship could grow. Our relationship suffered, however, because I thought he was simply moving to get away from me. The upside of him moving to Florida was that I got to move into my apartment with Sara, Paddie, and meredila. I finally learned how to cope with being sick on my own, and finally got on a regular medicine schedule, even though that had ups and downs too. Year twenty was spent in and out of hospitals, and it was also the year I hit my all time heigh weight of 210lbs. Thank you nephrotic syndrome. I am so fortunate to have a family that cared enough about me to stay by my side through the Rituxan treatments in the hospital, and through everything else – especially my mother. I don’t know how I would have coped with having to take chemo without having her there to by Wendy’s for me and to snore by my side. I mean, how difficult was it to get off the night shift at 8:00am and drive straight over to the hospital to sit with me, so that I wouldn’t feel so alone? I know that if Grandma were here now, she would be really proud of both of us, of how we dealt with this thing. Also during year 20, I continued to be employed at the Planetarium, worked on my English and Spanish majors, and learned how to dance just a little better in one of the best physa classes ever – ballroom dancing. I made great friends with __ciao_bella, alliem42, and became even closer to friends that I already had, like Alex, Jana, Sarah, Andy, and syaldia just to name a few. Diane joined Meredila and I in our apartment, and I also got to know her a lot better. And of course, there’s the confusion about my relationships with The Boy and Qbrain…and others. You all know about the d-Bag, his name need not be mentioned here, except it rhymes with “ill”, a quite fitting name if you ask me. But this hour is not dedicated to bitterness about the year 20. It’s actually meant to think about how wonderful my life has been.
I wonder what my 21st year holds in store.
So far, it looks like I’ll be starting it off with a day of rest from the P’tarium, because while I love Nerd Camp (“I love it so hard!” as Vicki would say) I must admit that I am sick. Sometime during today I came down with a case of “Kindergarten Kold” and I’m beginning to lose my voice. Fortunately, I have good friends to take care of me. Thanks Mickey Jo for the Vitamin C packets, thank you to The Boy for getting some dinner for me, and thank you to Qbrain, Mom, and Meredila for the happy birthday wishes – those really picked me up proper. And now, I’m finally a real, live, adult, out in the world. I would put “real world”, but I don’t believe in the “real world”, simply because according to all the teachers I’ve ever had, the “real world” is a horrible place to live, and I would prefer to stay in my version of the real world. It has enough trials and tribulations as it is, and thank God for those. As much as I dislike them, I realize that they only come to make me a stronger person. I think they’re working.