Nine Months…amongst other things
Good news everyone! My locs have been holding it down for their ninth month – no, no, no, applaud all you want! – and with this month comes new surprises and challenges! Recently, I visited my loctitian (actually, it was more like, last night) and got my hair styled after three months of trying to take care of it myself. And I learned a few truths while sitting in the cushy, pumpy chair – well, actually it was partially the pumpy chair, and partially the chair you hang out in while you’re getting your hair dried, but I digress. Allow me to enlighten you.
1) There is nothing like having someone else "do" your hair. The scrubby shampoo…sitting under the dryer worrying about nothing but flipping the page to find out more about how stars are "just like us"…having someone else who can see your entire head fix your entire head…it’s wonderful.
Seriously, when I used to have my hair relaxed, I would usually have been feeling growing anxiety. Would I be able to comb my hair into a suitable style? If I get it wet on more time, is it going to poof out on me? What was Lisa going to say to me about all the ways I’d messed up my hair this time? I would sit down in the chair, feel the familiar fingers basting my scalp, and sigh with relief. It was all going to be okay now…now that I was in the chair. When I sit down in the expert’s chair, there’s still a feeling of relief. Like I’ve made it to home base in a game of nuclear tag.
Now, I don’t feel that much anxiety about my hair…well, I hadn’t been feeling that much anxiety about my hair until recently…which leads me to truth #2
2) "Teenage" locs are rebellious. I’d read about bad hair days, people being upset with their locs, wanting to take them down because they just wouldn’t "do" right, and I scoffed at them. OPENLY SCOFFED! And then, about a week ago, I began to realize that my locs which had been so well behaved, were being…stubborn. Headband or no, retwist be damned, these little babies were sticking out all over my head in an unflattering manner. It’s not that I don’t like nappy hair, or that I have a problem with my hair sticking up, I was quite happy during those stages…but this stage was… Well, it’s just long enough to be annoying, but not long enough to really be able to do anything to it. You know? It’s just…You Know?!
3) Because of my attempts to make my locs behave, they’d thinned out way too much. ("Every other week is way too often!" my loctitian exclaimed woefully. "You were right to cut back." It seemed like the wrong time to use the "but the internet said" argument I used in point number 4…) At this last visit,my locs had to get married…and I didn’t really want that. Okay, I’m not big on how big or how small someone’s locs are. In fact, I usually like the look of thicker, cultivated locs. The thin ones…well…I don’t mean to hate…but some of the really thin ones remind me of jheri curls. And I’m afraid of jheri curls. Yeah. I just don’t want to go down that road. And the flat ones…well, I like nature, but I don’t like stuff to be too natural. I’m the type of kid who likes nature trails and walking a little bit off the beaten path out in the woods. But try to stick me in a tent and suggest I hunt or fish for my own food and I’m out. Screw the ticks, I’m going home. So yeah, I knew that cultivated locs were for me. I’d been wondering, recently, if mine were too thin – thinning at the roots, too thin to be cool. So, imagine my surprise when I asked my loctitian if she thought they were too thin and she responded by, as my hands later discovered, marrying some of my favorite locs together. Locs I’d named! (I’d like to say that it hadn’t gone that far, but it had…) I separated a few of them once I got home…I wanted thicker locs, but I didn’t want to get rid of the ones I had! Ridiculous, I know, but there none-the-less.
4) I reluctantly told my loctitian about my home experiments – the avocado experiment…the Carol’s Daughter usage – despite the ingredients list including beeswax…the bit of red yarn that might still be stuck in my hair – and she chuckled. "Oh dear," she said, when I told her about the mayonnaise and avocado conditioner. "You did what with the avocado? I don’t know about that…" she said.
"But I saw it on the internet and…" I began to protest. Then I realized how inane that sounded. "Okay, but the ACV rinses, I mean, I read about those in the same place that I read about the conditioner and…" A lame excuse, I knew. Also, in the midst of this, another woman getting her hair done came to my defense saying that she’d heard about this too.
Another thing that was awesome about the visit to the loctitian: I overheard her talking to another client about buildup. Fearing for my own hair, I listened in. Yes, apparently this client had been using too much loc butter, and was now having to use the ACV rinse to clean out her locs. Loc Butter! It smells so good..and feels great…but alas, it has been leaving some gunk. In fact, I’ve got some gunk right now in this little basket weave type of ‘do I’ve been wearing today. But I didn’t feel too bad about it, because several of the women waiting to get their hair done blamed Carol’s Daughter for buildup of one type or another.
So, with these truths realized, hopefully I’ll make it to the next three months without murdering my hair.
All except you…you loc…you know which one you are.
Oh! And yeah, truth #5: my loctitian won’t hate me if I take a detour off the natural train and dye my hair. "No, I like color," she said, "I just don’t do color. I don’t use chemicals of any kind. I’ve never done it on my own hair, but if I had, I think I’d dye my hair your color, it’s so pretty!" Well…doesn’t that make me feel a little…nurgh…for wanting a change…gah, she’s so sweet! Sometimes, I hate that! (Just joking…but not really…but really…kinda…)