I know that you don’t know this – that New Year’s is important and that I’ve been trying to stay awake for all the fun. I know that you also don’t know that I’m desperately trying to settle in for some shuteye because 12:48 AM is not the time that humans are asposed to be up. Further, I’m aware of the fact that though you are in it, and though you will be coming out of it, you’re neither aware of what a womb is nor how your actions affect it.
However, I’m going to have to ask you to tone it down in there! We’re at twenty weeks now! You are, at least according to all the books, somewhere between the size of a greasy, cheese covered mango and a banana. (The websites actually say that you’re the size of a cantaloupe, however, that doesn’t make sense to me because in my mind cantaloupes are bigger than bananas. But I digress.) You are in the 33% on the growth charts. So you’re not huge, but you’re not a shrimp either.
So, I need to ask you – very nicely – to kindly QUIT KICKING MY CERVIX!
That is all,