It’s Okay – 38 Weeks
She’s just going to live in here forever.
It’s simpler this way, really.
When people at work comment on how big I am or how I’m still there, I can just say "Oh…yes, because I’m not actually having a baby. I’m just going to continue being pregnant." And when my father asks me if I’m getting any closer, I can tell him, with certainty, "Nope. Didn’t you hear? I’m not actually HAVING a baby, I’m just going to have her…right here…with me…because she’s never coming out." I won’t have to worry about whether or not this "is it". I won’t have to look for plugs or blood or try to discern if what I’m leaking is amniotic fluid or…something else. I won’t have to answer questions or have more discussions about labor and epidurals and episiotomies and the amount of swelling visible or not visible in my feet. And I won’t worry about crampy sensations, or contractions, or whether they’re long enough or not to warrant a hospital visit. And, awesomely, I won’t miss beach trips and other fun vacations because, of course, she’s not planning on coming out any time soon.
I know I still have 2-4 weeks left.
But I think that I will cuh-rye if May 20th shows up and there’s no cuddly baby to show for it.
Unless, of course, I can convince myself that she’s never actually coming out.
That way, when she does come out, it will be a huge and awesome surprise.