Shopping – Wife Style
The Boy is ill.
He got a flu shot with the hopes of avoiding getting the flu. Seeing as how we have a lil’ baby, this was a responsible move. However, the flu shot gave him the flu. Well, at least, it gave him “flu-like symptoms”. Watery eyes, aching muscles, general sluggishness, lack of appetite.
He sounded so horrible when I called to check on him that I wasn’t sure I had the right number. He felt so gross that he left work early on Thursday, and, by the time I arrived, the house was still dark and he still abed. Not one sign of him working on the sly. (He is known to do this – work while he’s supposed to be resting.) So when he asked me to pick some food up for him, Thursday evening, I stopped by Wendy’s to grab a small chilli, a small fry, and a small frosty. Something warm, something cold, something bland – perfect sickie food.
Today, before picking up the baby, I stopped off by the grocery store to pick up some sick-person supplies. OTC meds, orange juice, canned soups (chicken noodle and tomato), and wine. The last one was for me. I also grabbed some bananas, an avocado, and salad greens. I came home, tied a baby to my hips, and set to work making grilled egg-in-the-hole sandwiches and tomato soup for dinner. The Boy informed me that he hadn’t been able to eat all day.
“I tried to get some food,” he rasped. “But I just couldn’t eat it.”
I looked in the fridge to find a disposable Taco Bell container staring me in the face. The Baja Blast Mountain Dew was sweating all over the coffee table in front of my sick husband.
“Note: when I go sick people shopping, I pick up Vitamin C and soup. When you go sick people shopping, you pick up an XXL Grilled Stuft – not “stuffed”, by the way, “stuft” – Burrito and a Mountain Dew. I pick up chilli, and you pick up…food not intended for sick people. See the difference?”
“It was a chalupa…” he said, indignantly. “Cha-lu-pa.”