Motherly Guilt


A couple of days ago, after about half an hour of unsuccessful pumping, and in a rush to get to school and daycare on time, I turned to the emergency formula. And made Petals a bottle. I haven’t felt this guilty since…I can’t remember when. I cried for a good ten minutes on the way to work and it ate away at me for the next half hour.

The most ridiculous part? That I fully realize that this is not the worst thing in the world. 1) I, my husband, his brother, and two of my sisters were formula fed. We’re still pretty awesome. 2) Many of my friends feed or have supplemented feedings with formula. 3) She’s a good nine months old and doing a good job of weaning herself.

So why the guilt? Maybe it’s because if all the “breast us best” literature. Maybe it’s because of the tons of blogs and books I’ve read that warn that turning to formula is often the beginning of the end of a successful breastfeeding relationship. Or maybe it’s because after compromising on the natural birth thing, caving to pressure to forget about trying cloth diapers, and forgoing baby led weaning for purées, this was the one crunchy mom promise I’d made that I’d actually been keeping. It kind of hurt to let go of that a bit.

She drank the formula. And aside from a few spit-ups (to which she is prone anyway) she appears to be just fine. Perhaps supplementing with formula will give me the break I need to get some pumping done. And with her first birthday fast approaching (Yikes!) she will be hitting the cow’s milk soon anyway.

I think I’m cool with it. Especially considering the bug I found in her dirty diaper the other day. It would appear that formula is far from the worst thing on her menu.


Posted on March 2, 2012, in Baby Food, breastfeeding, Parenting and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Hi Alicia, firstly thank you for visiting my blog Tiger Tales and leaving me that lovely and practical comment. I had to smile you know what, sometime the most obvious things evade us. You are right and he loves going out doors, so I’ll try to find some time we can do that together.

    Regarding your challenges with breast feeding, I can relate. It surly is not as easy as we’ve been lead to believe but there is help out their if you want it. I combination fed my first and I’m doing so with my second although I didn’t want to. I should have sort help sooner but I’m also shy to breast feed in public, I use formula then but also I don’t seem to get enough milk. I do feel guilty especially as she’s now 7 mths old and not interested in food. I combination feed my son untill he was 8 months chances are I may do so longer for her as I don’t want to rush you. All we can do is our best, so don’t feel too badly you will both be fine.

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