The Boy and I enjoy movies. We have invested time and energy into making our entertainment setup as movie-watching-friendly as possible. We have not, however, invested much time and energy into protecting this setup from little hands. (See, most people would think of protecting the baby from it, but for us, it’s the other way around. I’m not really worried that Petals is going to damage herself as much as I’m worried that she’s going to decide to use the XBox’s disc tray as a chew toy.)
Up until now, our baby has been an unmoving lump. A cute lump, but unmoving nonetheless. (Just the other day, while trying to entice her with a toy, my mother asked her if her only defense was laying there “like a slug”, like Randy from A Christmas Story.) She would lay in the middle of the floor and pretty much stay put if you left her alone for any length of time. Then she began rolling over. I was excited at first, but now I see the error of my ways. Now, I’ve got younger siblings. I think that I knew it was coming, but I wasn’t really aware of it’s coming…but did you know that… ***looks around to see if anyone’s listening*** babies eventually start…moving?!
Moving I tell you!
Petals is doing more than scooching. She’s moving. Purposefully. Towards a goal. Well..actually, she generally pushes herself away from a goal and then turns around to find something cool behind her and starts playing with it. But I’m sure that this trend will, like my baby, reverse itself any day now.
Yesterday, I moved her away from the blinking lights and pushy buttons housed beneath the television twice. No sooner had I turned my back to begin putting away our bags (book bag, diaper bag, laptop bag, breast pump bag, milk bottle bag, CVS plastic bag full of migraine medication…) than I heard our baby grunting her way across the floor. (She’s no ninja-baby yet. She’s still very loud when she approacheth.) I look back to discover tiny finger prints in the dust that had accumulated on top of the blu-ray player. The maker of those tiny finger prints was kicking her feet, trying desperately to reach the bright light on top of the wireless router.
Yes. Five months old, and already getting into trouble.
That’s my girl!
So there are a few questions one must ask oneself before attempting to answer such a proposition. Let’s forget the fact that somehow this place has electricity – and room service (I definitely don’t have to do any cooking or cleaning while I’m there. Perfect, cheesy, omelets just fall from the sky…onto my plate.) Yes, let’s forget all the other magic of the island and focus on the important questions.
First, is there any chance that I might be marooned upon that magical desert island? Or will I be allowed to leave at any time? Because this simple fact would affect which DVDs I would bring with me. I might bring five romantic comedies, fly back to my local Blockbuster, and then pick up five action flicks. This would also affect whether or not I got one of those awesome movie pass thingies, where I can get movies in the mail and then like, create a queue, and switch them out for other movies at the store… You know, will I be able to go home and get new movies out of the mail? And really, how long am I staying on this desert island? A week? A month? Three days? Because THEN the question becomes, would I want to bring five DVDs at all? I mean, if I’m only going to be here for a couple of days, surely I could do without DVDS for that long! Go exploring, move my legs, enjoy the freedom of not having to go to school…or teach children…for a little while….
Okay, important question number 2: Does it just have electricity, tv, and a dvd player, or could I possibly bring a Blu-Ray and hook that up to? Because I’ve got some new Blu-Ray discs that look totally awesome with the new television we just bought. It’s all texturized and stuff. And you would never really realize how much you were missing until you watched like, the same movie on both DVD and Blu-Ray. I was kind of worried that Blu-Ray would go the way of the laser disc, you know, just a passing fad, but it’s been around long enough that I think it’s safe to invest in some high quality discs. Then again, I guess I really should think about the fact that perhaps the TV there does not have HD capabilities, and the technology of the Blu-Ray might be wasted upon it. And you know, these days, why take any DVDs at all? Why not load them up onto a hard drive (because, I mean, we’ve got TV, electricity, etc.) why not load them up onto a hard drive and play them from there?
Number 3: Am I just sitting around, outside, underneath a palm tree (or a sand dune) getting sand up my shorts? Or is there a sweet hotel, with a jacuzzi, nearby? And are there camels involved? They spit, you know, which might make TV viewing unpleasurable. I only ask about the camels because I want to know if this is a desert island, or a deserted island…I mean, I can’t imagine a small island that looks like Laurence of Arabia, what with the ocean being so nearby, but I’m sure it could exist. Somewhere. I mean, Antarctica is a desert island, right? As are parts of Australia… And if it’s in fact a desert island and not a deserted island, do I have to share the TV and DVDs with anyone else – because that would totally affect what DVDs I bring with me. There are some movies that I’ve seen so many times before that I could just close my eyes and nearly recreate the experience of watching them in my head. And there are some movies that I would want to share with people who have never had a chance to experience their awesomeness. This does not mean, however, that I would want to bring "It’s a Wonderful Life" with me on my desert island and watch THAT over and over again. If someone else were going to share the experience with me, I would want to bring it, but if it were just myself, I think I’d bring a mix of old movies and new movies. I’ve never managed to finish "Annie Hall", so I’d bring that, and I’ve also heard that "City of God" is awesome, so I’d want to bring that. But then I’d also have to bring a copy of "The Little Mermaid", ’cause it’s like a security blanket to me, you know, just to balance movies I hadn’t seen with movies I loved.
Finally, and this is perhaps the most important question of all, what’s to stop me from taking more than my favorite five DVDs? A cop? The baggage people for whatever transportation system I am taking to get there? The nuts from Homeland Security? Because I’m thinking that maybe what I will do is pile two or three DVDs into one DVD case…you know, stow away 15 DVD’s instead of five. Maybe I’ll just count "Buffy: Season 5" as one DVD instead of…what, five or six DVD’s…and see if the gods of the desert island will let me pass. But why should they care? You know? I mean, they’re getting free entertainment off of me and my back-breaking effort to bring the magic of the silver screen to these kids…or gods, I mean. Maybe I’ll just pack the whole damn shelf and see what they think of that!