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Shopping – Wife Style

The Boy is ill.

Poor thing.

He got a flu shot with the hopes of avoiding getting the flu.  Seeing as how we have a lil’ baby, this was a responsible move.  However, the flu shot gave him the flu.  Well, at least, it gave him “flu-like symptoms”.  Watery eyes, aching muscles, general sluggishness, lack of appetite.

He sounded so horrible when I called to check on him that I wasn’t sure I had the right number.  He felt so gross that he left work early on Thursday, and, by the time I arrived, the house was still dark and he still abed.  Not one sign of him working on the sly.  (He is known to do this – work while he’s supposed to be resting.)  So when he asked me to pick some food up for him, Thursday evening, I stopped by Wendy’s to grab a small chilli, a small fry, and a small frosty.  Something warm, something cold, something bland – perfect sickie food.

Today, before picking up the baby, I stopped off by the grocery store to pick up some sick-person supplies.  OTC meds, orange juice, canned soups (chicken noodle and tomato), and wine.  The last one was for me.  I also grabbed some bananas, an avocado, and salad greens.  I came home, tied a baby to my hips, and set to work making grilled egg-in-the-hole sandwiches and tomato soup for dinner.  The Boy informed me that he hadn’t been able to eat all day.

“I tried to get some food,” he rasped.  “But I just couldn’t eat it.”

I looked in the fridge to find a disposable Taco Bell container staring me in the face.  The Baja Blast Mountain Dew was sweating all over the coffee table in front of my sick husband.

“Babe?”

“Yeah?”

“Note: when I go sick people shopping, I pick up Vitamin C and soup.  When you go sick people shopping, you pick up an XXL Grilled Stuft – not “stuffed”, by the way, “stuft” – Burrito and a Mountain Dew.  I pick up chilli, and you pick up…food not intended for sick people.  See the difference?”

“It was a chalupa…” he said, indignantly.  “Cha-lu-pa.”

The Last Time I Saw the Doctor

Right after I got to find out what type of kid I was having, I got to have a doctor’s appointment, where the following AWESOME-O conversation took place:

Me: Okay, so everything seems to be going great.  A little backache, a little headache, and a few stretch marks, but otherwise, I’m OK.
Doc: And the respiratory infection?
Me: Oh, yeah, I can breathe now.  Except…well, I keep coughing up hard chunks of mucous.  Occasionally with some blood.
Doc: That’s gross.
Me: Thanks.
The Doc (The Boy calls him "Doogie" despite the fact that he finished med. school fin ’96) is hilarious.  He prescribed Mucinex and, of course, acupuncture.  The man believes in acupuncture.