Okay, so I’m moving to Arden on Friday morning. First thing.
I don’t think I’m ready. I mean, really…I act like a worldly and sophisticated person, but I’ve lived my ENTIRE LIFE in Chapel Hill. I know that everyone thinks that I’m this really cool and mature person, but in actuality, I often feel like a dorky little kid whose still just playing grown-up teacher with her stuffed animals. So sure, I’ve moved to other places, but none of them were more than than like, fifty miles away from my birth place. Except for London. Which was three months. And I was nervous about that too.
And, I’ll admit it, I’m nervous.
I’m nervous about learning how to drive around in the city.
I’m nervous about things like, running at the park by myself or something, and then getting bitten by this really poisonous spider (or tick, whichever) and falling down on the trail and then some stranger finding me and then taking me to the nearest hospital and then, when I’m better, me calling Jeremy and telling him “no no, I’m fine, really, just come get me,” but not being able to tell him HOW to come and get me because I don’t know exactly where I am or where he is in relation to that. This would all be cool if I had interent access in the hospital room and could mapquest it, but as I probably won’t, the whole spider/tick fiasco will ruin my life and I will wish that I had just stayed in Chapel Hill.
I’m nervous about not knowing how to deal with the diversity (or lack thereof) at my new school. What if the kids hate me because I’m Black and they refuse to listen to me and someone burns a cross on our front lawn. The latter will be especially bad, because we live in an apartment, and I don’t think that our neighbors or the apartment people will appreciate that – especially if they’re not black and they’re all like “You see, we let black people move in and now we’ve got crosses on our lawn too!”
I’m nervous about not making any friends!
What if I don’t make any friends?
So, I haven’t updated my livejournal in a long time…mainly because I’ve been a little crazy with grad school. I had four papers due in four days, and honestly, I don’t care that I didn’t get an “H” (High pass) in all of my classes, because it was all I could do to actually finish the semester having done most of my assignments. I definitely did not manage to do all of my assignments, and to anyone who has I give a hearty congratulations.
However after ending school on Dec. 6 and promptly heading off to Boulder for about week of much needed vacation, I feel a little better able to cope with “extraneous” things in my life, such as Livejournal and Facebook.
So, earlier I was saying that while I felt bad about the London bombings, it was only on a minor level — it felt more like apathy. Well, that apathy has sadly turned to selfishness, because I’m watching the riots in Paris. And I don’t like what’s going on, and I feel like there needs to be change happening within their government (as well as ours), however I can’t help but be slightly angry with the rioters for ruining my prospective vacation. And I’m even more angry with the Police. Accused of racism, they’ve decided it would be a good idea to further “crack-down” on the minority population and threaten heavy prison sentences for people they can’t catch. And they’ve called them “rabble”. Oh gosh, they’re genious.
Before it was “Don’t worry, it’s in the suburbs”
But recently, they’ve moved to the center of Paris.
And honestly, all I want to do is fly to Paris in 16 days, hop on a train, and spend a week with The Boy. Nothing more, nothing less. Is this too much to ask you rioters? Is this too much to ask of you cops?
Stupid civil unrest and racism. Isn’t there one place in the world that isn’t experiencing such crap? I want to move their.